I did, in fact, get to have lunch with my buddy’s buddy, Ted, and yep, I still have a crush on him. It’s not a dangerous sort of crush. I don’t feel the need to jump all over him. I don’t even mind that he’s happily married. I just feel all warm and comfortable when he’s around, and I so I want to hang out with him as much as possible. As I’ve said earlier, I think Ted has this effect on everyone, or at least on a great many people. I don’t think he’s even aware that it’s happening. (Unless, of course, Ted should start reading my blog. If so … er, hi, Ted. Please use your power for good, not evil. Well, of course you’ll use it for good. You’re Ted!) Ted, himself, clearly doesn’t always feel warm and cozy and comfortable. He has doubts and frustrations and worries and grief just like anyone else. It seems unfair, really. Ted deserves to have the Ted effect washing over him, too. If only he could turn his aura in, and enjoy having a mild, cozy crush on himself.

Our mutual friend, Brian, has a similar phenomenon going on: Brian radiates an aura of calm, at least to me. When I’m around Brian, my worries, my doubts, the big angry fight I’ve just had with someone else (this really has happened) all just wash away, and I feel calm and relaxed. For this reason, I like to drag Brian out to open mic nights: In addition to hearing Brian play, (He’s an excellent guitarist and songwriter.) I get to perform with his aura of calmness washing over me, so stage fright can’t touch me. With Brian around, I’m sure I can do anything! Sadly, Brian doesn’t have this effect on himself, at all. In fact, Brian is often very nervous. He worries a lot. He has trouble sleeping. I’ve decided that Brian is an anxiety absorber. If only Brian had another of himself around to calm him down …

Anyway, I’m gathering a lesson from all of this: One of my goals now is to be more like Ted, and more like Brian. I’d like to have a positive effect on everyone around me, to make people feel better, braver, more welcome, intelligent, and calm, just for being in my presence. I don’t know how to do it. I don’t think I could learn by asking Ted or Brian directly for, as I’ve said, I don’t think they even know that they’re doing this. Still, it warrants further study. And that’s a great excuse to go hang out with Ted again. Aaaaah … so warm and cozy …

Advertisements